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[13 Feb 2008|04:53pm] |
So, in light of being a second-semester senior in college and interning at MTV, I've decided to start a different blog for more "serious" things -
It can be read here.
I'll still be around here for matters such as communities and fandoms :0)
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[03 Feb 2008|10:58pm] |
I don't like sports.
Could care less about football.
But - go New York.
Gotta love the underdogs!
Yay Giants!
P.S. My school is hardly a sports school - we're Division III and don't even have a football team, but three guys streaked on J-street right by the office, lol.
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| Short Story |
[03 Jan 2008|06:40pm] |
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music |
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"Goodnight"- William Fitzsimmons |
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Talk To You Soon
She watches the way his hands twist into his scarf, how he leans back on his heels, how’s he so obviously not sure how to look into her eyes. She wonders how his mind works, because he talks like he knows exactly what he’s about all while being perfectly coy with the a tinge of sweet self doubt.
She knows that later he’s going to be elsewhere, with people that feel like characters from a disjointed yet critically acclaimed HBO dramady with just the right vices and emotional distress. She’s never really felt like this was a good place to be – on the outer ring of his circle of friends without ever being comfortable enough to approach them on her own. Most of them are beautiful in their unperfect, broken sort of way, with clothes indie enough to have been bought in a Salvation Army that’s never really frequented by people who truly need it; just other teens and twenty-somethings that are carbon copies of themselves.
She’s wearing, herself, a scarf from Old Navy and jeans from who-knows-where and whatever long-sleeved v-neck thing that was washed and comfortable that morning. She feels naked, there, as he avoids her eyes, because for once they aren’t talking to one another. Instead, they’re ruminating in unhealthy, cold silence that should be comfortable but instead reeks of awkwardness.
There’s a lot of things on the tip of her tongue, things that she’s wished she’s said and never have. Things she has said but wants to take back and tell the truth about. Things like the fact that she actually hates “The Godfather” and thinks philosophy is total garbage and that in fact, she actually likes celebrity gossip thank you very much. For once, she doesn’t want to say what she knows he wants to hear and tell him exactly what’s rolling around in her head, things like “I hate your goatee” and “Your friends are fake.” She wants to painfully honest and reach for his hand and say please, please please love her because she’s in love with him and she has no fucking clue why.
The thing about him is that he’s wrong a lot and will never admit he’s made a mistake, even when proved incorrect. He likes to contradict just to start a fight and is way too nitpicky about what he eats, and sometimes, who he’s with and what’s he’s doing. He dresses like he wants to not conform when he’s comfortable in jeans and a teeshirt, and she hates him for all of this, because it just bothers her, makes her feel like she doesn’t know him when in fact she probably knows him best of all.
He’s off to see her today, the girl with the short pixie haircut and the crooked smile. He’s off to see some concert with her of some band she doubts he really likes just because this girl’s everything he should like, so he will. She knows he’ll spend time with this girl, a lot of time, and eventually, she will have to make nice with her, just so she can see him again.
Truthfully, she wants to cry, and she will and would if he looked at her. She’s not sure what she thinks would be better. Her tears, would they wash away his cheap, fake exterior – even for a few moments? Or, would they cause her a bane of easy embarrassment resulting in him walking away from her without another glance, until he calls her, days later, acting as if nothing had happened?
He ducks away, then, with a half-wave and a very quick glance back. She doesn’t have much of a chance to speak the words or cry the tears.
Instead, she just says what she always says as she watches him walk away again and again,
“Have fun! I’ll talk to you soon.”
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[16 Dec 2007|05:58pm] |
I've had the worst week of my life. It was so bad.
Thankfully, I will be seeing Anthony Rapp tomorrow doing a one-man show of his book. Thankfully.
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[07 Nov 2007|01:21am] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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I may not be in the Guild, but I want to be some day and I support other writers, and you should too. It's not the end of the world if your favorite show stops for a few weeks. Without the writers, there would be no show.
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[23 Aug 2007|09:26pm] |
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music |
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"Work it Out"= High School Musical 2 |
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<33 my new icon. Dear Lucas, I heart you.
On another note - I will be seeing my Cake boys tomorrow...from first row.
I'm going to die.
:0) Recap, of course, when I get back !
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[10 Aug 2007|12:06pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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Hanson |
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So, picture post, sort of.
Some of Anthony Rapp (from the day I saw Rent), one of me and my best friend Natalie, and one of me and Ashley Parker Angel (who's currently playing Link Larkin in the Broadway version of Hairspray.
The Anthony pictures were taken when he stage-doored after the 2PM show, before we won lottery for the evening show. Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera with me (my friend Natalie took these) to take pictures later, when both he and Adam stagedoored after the show.
Preview:
( More after the jump... )
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[05 Aug 2007|01:35am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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"Then Again"- Anthony Rapp |
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There's something about Rent that keeps me coming back for more.
This time wasn't any exception. I truly did not think for one moment I would have the luck to win for the lottery when Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp were back, reprising their roles as the original Roger and Mark, but I did.
And so, I got to witness the original creators of the personalities of two of the most recognizable characters in contemporary theater.
From the FIRST ROW.
I'm a fangirl.
I'm not sure why, but watching Anthony and Adam take their places on stage simply felt right. There wasn't much exhilaration, necessarily, about what might happen - because they have these characters. They know them. They've lived them, in one way or another, for ten years. And that, that simply made the experience even that more enjoyable. There was no concern of Roger being played too whiny (which Tim Howar did, even though I found it to be pretty endearing in a way that only a Rent-snob who's spent too much time in the fandom can - if I had seen Tim as my first Roger, would I feel his stomping, adoloscent-reminding Roger as cute as I did? I'm not sure) or too cold (sorry, Luther Creek) and there was not a worry in my mind that Mark would be too snarky and sarcastic (ilu, Matt Caplan, srsly, you were hilarious, but I like my Mark to be soft and charming with a tinge of dorky humor) or BORING (Chris Hanke, you're fucking adorable, but Tim stole your thunder, and Mark is supposed to be my favorite character). I got what I expected - an amazing show with few issues (didn't really like the girl who played Maureen, and Tamyra Gray had an amazing voice but there wasn't much spectacular about her) - and so much more-
I got to see Adam cry, the look of pain in his eyes so genuine it could only come from someone who knew Roger. I got to see the chemistry between the boys, and felt the pain of the argument Roger has with Mark about leaving for Santa Fe. It was powerful, my friends. I mourned the loss of their friendship. Anthony's "Halloween" was wicked, heartbreaking, one of my favorite songs and has only ever been nailed, completely, by one person - Anthony himself. (I must admit, though, one of the few moments Chris Hanke had me was Halloween. He did get kudos from me for that). Adam's One Song Glory was simply breathtaking.
I don't know, maybe it's because I've always envisioned the Mark and Roger in my head to be Anthony and Adam, or because their voices are the ones I've been hearing in the OBC since I was fourteen, but they've got it, and they always will on some level. Even critics of the two have to admit they left their marks on Jonathan Larson's characters.
But with the good, comes the bad, and of course, some people should not be given the priviledge to stagedoor or win lottery. Two people beside my friend Calvin left the theater during intermission to get MCDONALD's, and then, late getting back, missed Seasons of Love. Proceeding this, they decided eating and drinking McDonald's food during a live production with the cast literally a foot from your face is a totally approapriate thing to do. Anthony himself was shocked, definitely doing a double-glance and one of these : o_0 - when seeing it. They also pretty much used the Nederlander as their couches and homes by putting their feet up pretty much on the stage.
Afterwards, while outside, someone from my general side of the crowd bundled around a decent area that Anthony was tracing, shouted a general comment, like, "Anthony, over here ! Your mother is over here!" which ellicited some chuckles by some of the ignorant crowd that might not have known that Anthony's mother is very dead and is a great cause of distress for him (enough that he wrote a book about it). I'm not sure, myself, whether this comment was said by someone who didn't realize the impact (not being a huge fan or knowing this fact and just saying something to get him to look over) or someone who was simply being a DICK, but I was glad it seeingly went unheard by Anthony, who had been on the other side of the barricade at the time.
But, of course there were the following, blissful charming moments that I must note:
-Before the show, we went early to try and catch the matinee show letting out so we can see Anthony. We had no Playbills yet, nor had we seen the show. We stood in the crowd, and my friend Natalie, when the time came, thrust out a folded piece of paper (on which, on the opposite folded inside was a half-completed crossword puzzle) for him to sign. Immediately realizing it was not a Playbill, or a Rent bible, or whatever else, he looked frazzled, opened the paper, made a funny little expression of amusement, and signed it for her. I loved that cute expression. It was charming.
-Watching Adam stifle laughter throughout the intro to La Vie Boheme - unsuccessfully.
-The cute little expression Adam gave when he was "caught" staring at Mimi's ass.
-Anthony making eye contact and smiling at me at the very end of the show. Adam, during Seasons of Love.
-Anthony's crazy dancing and dorky hand gestures!
- Santa Fe, in it's entirety. I'm not normally a huge fan, but Justin is amazing, and the boys were all so cute.
-Watching Anthony sit on the side of the stage during "Without You", his eyes closed, looking very peaceful and calm. I kept wondering what was going through his head. Was he thinking about laundry he needed to fold? How tired he was?
-Troy and Justin as Collins and Angel. Maybe even more chemistry than Jesse and Wilson?
-The crowd as the guys and Tamyra tried to stagedoor after the show. While there was some pushing, everyone was pretty good-natured and there was a lot of helping each other out. People helped everyone pass their stuff up, sometimes handing a bunch of stuff to Anthony and Adam at once, so they can sign everything more efficiently, and then passing it back. It was all very friendly and worked out awesome.
-The whole damn thing.
I'm so happy I got to experience this! I'm sorry if none of this makes sense, because I'm working on, like, four hours of sleep. SO TIRED.
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[03 Aug 2007|10:53am] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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A new Cake!fic is on the tips of my fingers, but I need to just. get. started! Grrrr, why am I such a dolt. :0P
Done. Ha. That was easier than I thought.
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[30 Jul 2007|01:33am] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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So, I've been waiting for the following film for months and months, and finally, the trailer is here. My dream cast (Adrien Brody, Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman) and my dream director (Wes Anderson), come together to make The Darjeeling Limited.
I CANNOT WAIT!
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[29 Jul 2007|11:37am] |
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mood |
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 nervous |
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I'm getting so anxious about getting AI tickets. They just released Section 101 Row AA (section right next to the stage, first row) and I'm not sure if I should snag them, but I *think* I'm gonna wait so see if I can get floor seats.
*is worried*
I hope I didn't suck my luck dry with the John Mayer 9th row seats Crystal and I had gotten, lol
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[28 Jul 2007|07:28pm] |
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Does anyone want to try and see Rent with me next week ? <3 Anthony and Adam
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[17 Jul 2007|10:25pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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The TV |
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So, the drama on cakeforever has finally pretty much crashed the community.
The thing about this whole thing is that I simply don't understand. I just don't understand. It's never been like this in other fandoms I've been in (I mean, there's always drama, but not to this scale). I also feel like I missed something (even though I read the community several if not dozens of times a day and have been involved for months, and I am aware of what's been going on) because I sincerely feel like most of this stuff isn't worth the drama that's been going on.
I loved that community, it gave me something to look forward to when I was bored. I loved speculating about the boys (whether or not they were actually a couple I still have doubts) because it was fun, and I especially loved the fiction. I never thought mods did a bad job and the few people that were trying to spoil it for the rest of us never really got to me because WHO CARES.
I wish it didn't have to end the way it did.
/end rant.
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[01 Jul 2007|12:05am] |
Listen all,
Matt Caplan and Cary Shields have a gig at Porky's on July 7th.
I would really like to see it. Anyone?
$10 bucks.
PLEASE.
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[26 Jun 2007|12:16am] |
Short, short work of fiction by yours truly. It's fiction. Please comment if you feel at all moved to do so, in any way. Love you all.
Unspoken
There's a coffee shop on the corner, with gum-laden sidewalks laid out front, and those metal bistro tables set up outside. They sit inside, though, because of the chill that's hidden in a warm breeze, and she's stirring her coffee slowly, mouth twitching in a smile at his words.
He's kind of pretty, in a very manly way, with defined features and a strong nose. Though slight and a bit thin, she likes the way his hands are strong and that he's got that distinct masculine air about him, smelling of fresh soap and a tinge of aftershave. He's got the air of caring-about-not-caring and he's dressed sort of like a boy would - very casual but sort of smart, knowing that though he's only wearing a tee-shirt, it's a tee-shirt that works well. She also likes that he wears glasses and isn't self conscience about it, not at all. From the tips of his fingers down to the knobs of his ankles, he's confident but not cocky, and she loves the way his whole face lights up when he smiles.
She watches his hands stretch around his mug while he leans across the table to touch her hair lightly. She's worn it down, just for him.
"I like it," He says, and his hand is gone faster than it was there. She ducks her head and blushes, and he leans back.
I like you, her smiles says. His, though, says, you're a good friend.
Out loud, she says, "Don't sell yourself short. Don't settle for someone less than you're worth."
"I won't," He replies.
I can be it for you, her eyes say.
His, thank you.
She turns away, biting back a rush of selfish tears.
Somewhere, her heart says, You need to get over him, and you will, someday.
He's oblivious.
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[15 May 2007|02:19am] |
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mood |
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 optimistic |
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Today hasn't been the best of days. Hopefully it'll get better and I'll get by. I'm broke, seriously, and have gotten a ticket for answering my cell phone while driving, which I never do. I'm an asshole.
Said goodbye to some of the best for the summer. It's gonna be interesting here.
I want a change and I'm looking for it. Let's be spontaneous, reckless (safely, of course) and inspirational. Let's create and collaborate and dance and be young for once. I don't need to be so grown up yet - I'm in college. Let's party, let's dance it up, let's do some stupid things.
Yum.
Here's to BBQs, being broke, road trips, New York fucking City, Broadway shows, dance music, drinking, midnight movies, ice cream, laughter, the Bronx zoo, RAvue, the New, and work. Here's to new memories, and the taste of freedom.
I'm looking to you (all of you) to make it happen. Let's have a real fucking good time this summer, friends.
Love.
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[07 May 2007|04:35pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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Things that need to be done the next week that I can't forget:
Tonight:
9PM: Junior film screening (Garret's film)
10PM: Staff meeting
Tomorrow:
9AM-2PM: Work
6:00PM-7:00PM: Sophomore film screenings (Dan F's film)
7:00-?: Christian's Senior Recital
Wednesday:
12:00PM-1:00PM: FYE meeting
Rest of the night: The Daily Show screening
Thursday:
Our film screening: 7:00PM
Friday:
I can't remember what I have to do yet, lol
Saturday:
5:00: Baby shower!
6:00PM: Juanly's senior project opening
6:00PM-9:00PM: Duty with Mario
Sunday
6PM-9PM: Duty with Neil
Tuesday:
9PM-Midnight: Duty with Amanda & Zach
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[03 May 2007|12:49am] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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"Home"- Daughtry |
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Chris Richardson got kicked off AI tonight. Blake cried. So did I. I shouldn't watch this show ever again. I'll watch 'til Blake goes. Then, I don't care. I get too attached, to everyone. In general.
Anyway.
Music is in my ears, it's the kind my Dad would listen to really loud in his car, at a deafening level, while I roll my eyes and pretend I hate it when in actuality, I enjoy it. It's Daughtry, who I don't think he knows about, but I still know he likes it.
I've been doing a lot of thinking, and a lot of procrastinating. I haven't even been motivated enough to write for fun. The thoughts are building up and I feel it in my fingertips, but nothing is flowing. I can write some words, something pretty strung together that won't make sense to anyone....but, no.
Drama is cute, you know. I'm glad it's hanging over my head like a rainy rain cloud (altocumulus, I think. I should study for weather class.). My screenplay sucked and it's my own fault. I have to apply for graduation but I don't understand the form.
I'm sick of certain people being judgemental, especially since I can't change who I am and SORRY IF IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU ANYMORE. This summer is going to be one of ridiculousness and debauchery that I shouldn't involve myself in because I'm gonna feel like i'm spiralling downward. Alcohol and pot smoke. Not eating and working out and sweating out the tears instead of letting them build and spill over my cheeks.
Lots of cheesy music, right, and sad sad music because that's what gives me the inspiration. I'd like to think my life is such a sitcom/WB drama because it gives me material that'd be exactly what it is: a sitcom or WB drama. Good because at least I'll have a job, but bad because I want the Oscar. I don't want to settle for Chad Michael Murray and NBC.
I'm so frustrated, and sad. And frustrated, frustrated, frustrated. I want to go home, but I can't. I'm here, for the summer, but if I were home, I'd hate it, hate it, hate it, and wish I were here.
Hopefully I'll be in New Orleans this summer for the Beakaway Conference. And Disneyworld where I can pretend I'm 8 again. I want to be skinny, but I'm soooo sick of dieting and exercising and dreaming of how my life's gonna change when I get what I want.
I want to stop thinking about things, about certain people. I want to let go of one of my friends because she obviously thinks I'm a terrible, awful person now. I can see it in her eyes, I can hear it in her words. I'm not good enough for her anymore. I don't know what I did to deserve that, but she doesn't approve of who I talk to, what I do, how I handle anything. It hurts so much. She's supposed to be my best friend.
I miss my best friend. I miss her. And there's no one there like her, not really.
Maybe I should've gone away. Maybe I need to wipe the slate clean. Maybe I should suck it up.
I'm gonna miss Chris Richardson on American Idol because he was a distraction, and he's gone. With him being gone, so will the Cake fandom. I need to go back into one of my obsessions. I miss Rent, and need to see it. Kelly, make that happen.
/random post.
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[29 Apr 2007|03:21pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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New mood theme.
I'm sick, tired, and don't know what to do anymore.
Dramaaaa.
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